The Center For Counseling and Education

Excellence in Counseling • Care for the Soul

10 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD RESOLVE CONFLICTS
And Not Try to Solve It for Them

DRUG USE AMONG TEENS: SOME GUIDELINES
Warning Signals to Alert Parents

For Family Counseling Call Cynthia Gustavson (918) 747-4449

10 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD RESOLVE CONFLICTS

And Not Try to Solve It for Them

Remind your child that we all disagree sometimes. It's how we handle conflict that matters.
Encourage your child to talk things out. Help your child learn to describe feelings and let others express their feelings, too.
Tell your child to avoid using mean words that can hurt others and make conflicts worse.
Emphasize the importance of never pushing or hitting in a conflict.
Teach your child how to cool down when angry: take a few deep breaths or count to 10.
Help your child learn to cooperate with others to avoid or end conflicts.
Tell your child it is OK to say "I'm sorry" and it's good to forgive others, too.
Explain that if a conflict cannot be resolved, it's best to walk away or ask a peace-maker (a third party) to help find a solution.
Give your child "practice sessions" by play-acting imaginary or previous conflicts together. Then praise your child for peaceful solutions.
Show by your words and actions that we should treat others the way we want to be treated, because your example is the most powerful teacher of all.

The Center for Counseling and Education
2761 E. Skelly Dr., Suite 700, Tulsa OK 74105 918-747-6800

DRUG USE AMONG TEENS: SOME GUIDELINES

Warning Signals Should Alert Parents

The abuse of drugs by young people in this country is not a problem that's disappearing. Recent statistics show the opposite: it's getting worse. Parents and others who have children or adolescents in their care ought to watch for telltale signals. Partnerships for a Drug-Free America offers the following possible signs of drug abuse:

• Chronic eye redness, sore throat, or dry cough.
• Chronic lying, especially about whereabouts.
• Wholesale changes in friends.
• Stealing.
• Deteriorating relationships with family members.
• Wild mood swings, hostility, or abusive behavior.
• Chronic fatigue, withdrawal, carelessness about personal grooming.
• Major changes in eating or sleeping patterns.
• Loss of interest in favorite activities, hobbies, sports.
• School problems (slipping grades, absenteeism).

Most of these signs tend to develop gradually, not suddenly. Furthermore, they are clues rather than absolutely reliable evidence of drug use. Many of these warning signals are the same as those for depression or for the ordinary ups and downs of being a teenager. They can also alert an observer to the possibility that a physical or emotional illness is present, calling for prompt diagnosis and treatment by a mental health professional.

Persons wanting information about drug programs in their area can call their family doctor, local hospital, county mental health society, or school counselor for a referral. They can also call the national Helpline (800-662-HELP) for advice and a referral.

To obtain a free booklet providing useful information on how to talk with young persons about drugs, phone 1-800-624-0100 and ask for "A Parent's Guide to Prevention." Pastors and educators can keep copies of this booklet on hand to share with parents who are starting to worry about their children's appearance or behavior. An example of the booklet's clear and direct language: "Wait for a calm moment and then explain that you're worried about certain behavior (be specific) and give your child every opportunity to explain. That means really listening, not doing all the talking."

If you are in the Tulsa area and have a teenager who exhibits these possible signs of drug abuse or depression, contact Cynthia Gustavson at (918) 747-4449.